Amazingly, some boys rise above it and grow up NOT repeating the neglect and abuse, and can maintain solid relationships. However, many boys become resentful, mad, and maladjusted as they grow into young men. They may avoid school, be physically aggressive (fight a lot), and treat people as they have been treated, which leads to a troubled life. Find out if there is a Resource Center at you school that could hook you up with a counselor, or look in the phone book for support groups for neglected kids and young adults....a TRUSTED adult that you feel comfortable talking to could help you find information and help with this situation.
Other boys may play the part of a victim throughout the life, and seek out abusive employers, women, etc.
I'm sorry to say this but from my past experience with a boy without his father who was sometimes emotionally abusive to him was not a good experience. I've found that he has problems with fights and he has problems attaching himself to people. Although if you plan to bring somebody into his life then you had better be planning to keep that person there because even if they don't attach at first a year of being together and he will accept it and will become extremely attached to the person. If you then let that person go your son will be very unhappy and could lash out at others worse than before.
The affect does not have to be everlasting and is contingent upon the depth of denial. Children, regardless of gender, growing up in enmeshed family systems under the mis-care of abusive parents can begin a course of healing by exploring their past and the hidden messages and inter-workings (learned behaviors) within their particular family system. They must gain insight into their past as the foundation for change within their current adult relationships and in order to lead happy healthy adult lives.
In some cases, it just makes the child that much stronger , and that much more determined not to be like their parents, therefore making , one day wonderful people, fathers, and mothers.
Cause and Effect:
An absent father is a complete different scenario because absence is not creating direct abuse unto the child, ex verbal abuse and physical. When a father puts down a child verbal and physical, both put down a child's immediate and most intimate male relationship. The put downs affect a child's confidence concerning male confidence. It burns it at young. If the child's mother is absent that also comes into play, if not the way the mother "parents" the child. In many cases where a boy experiences lack of approval from the father, the boy has fear of embarrassment around other boys and also lack of confidence to compete in the highly competitive male identity. The mother may coddle and make it worse or she may be a higher disciplinarian and support the boy and his confidence but that still effects the way a boy will relate to woman. At young receiving little fear or negative result from female energy and instant motherly or with no mother instant female attention. females provoke men especially when they start to develop their female "parts" and males then are very distracted and experience the instant female gratifications. lack of male confidence from men especially the father, comfort and acceptance from only the female figure will enable the boys actions to cling to the female energy for security and acceptance, also need of approval and wanting to be needed of his male energy. Unfortunately only focusing on getting secure with female energy keeps him from getting grounded alone as man and farther from facing male identity in a social setting productively, then the females at their will mostly weak because his will be will distract and take advantage of that neediness, thus the boy will fall in cycles of negative relationships. The boys desire to be approved may also make him weak in relationships and he can easily be taken advantage of by woman especially since weak willed woman have the physical temptations to the man's non "chosen" physiological counterparts that fall weak to physical stimuli. There is much more to delineate due to additional factors that can change a situation from the root childhood. There are very few, that are built with the inner convictions to pull through but then we have to add in the external factors as well, school role models, even neighbours, coaches etc.
Hi, I had an abusive father. during his manic phases he was a monster, and one of the things he did, for example,was to rape my step sisters. My healing came from my brothers (2). We somehow rose above him and realized not to take his problems personally. I am 45 now and only in the last few years have i began to put the final touches on putting my father in the past and moving on. The point is that strength can be found from within the family, no matter how shattered and scattered you all may be. by some miracle we came together and helped one another heal......it's a long path, but worth every step. The key though is realizing that HE is the one who is sick and not you. My stepsisters were the ones most impacted to say the least. One has moved on and the other unfortunately lives a compromised life. We do what we can.
No not without parental permission. If the mother of the friend is willing to accept responsibility for you, she can petition the court for legal guardianship. However, your parent(s) will have the right to contest the action and it must be proven to the satisfaction of the court that it would be in your best interest to grant the guardianship. Unless there is substanial evidence of abuse and/or neglect in the parental home, a judge would NOT terminate parental rights and grant custody to someone else. If you believe yourself to be in an abusive or neglectful situation you should contact the Department of Social Services in your city or county. Or call any of the following numbers for guidance and assistance, National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-392-3738, Youth Crisis Services 1-800-448-4463, Youth Emergency Service 1-800-899-5437. You might like to vist the web site Teenline Online, which is staffed by teens helping other teens without criticism. http://www.teenlineonline.org
Maybe you should consider why your 18 year old wont leave home. Have they always been very attached to their home or parents? I would suggest seing a family therepist to talk some of these things out, they may be able to help your 18 year old see that they need to branch off and leave home. If they don't want to leave home because they don't want to get a job, or they like living rent free and not paying for food than the first step you might try could be cutting them off financially before ejecting your kid from your home. It may be a proccess, but if you stop providing funds they will eventually get a job and eventually have no reason to refuse to move out.
There isn't a legal age, but you better be sure the child can take care of the 6-year-old and keep them safe. Most authorities would say that the other child should be at least 13 and that it should be during daylight hours.