There's a lot to say about it, because men are different regarding a few things concerning marriage, how about you both sit down and talk about it in a mature way.
Some husband however may like those few things:
An independent wife who can take care of herself, emotionally, mentally and physically (Health care, beauty stuff etc...)
Open to try new things.
Awesome in bed.
I am not sure what "meaningful" means - but many narcissists have long term relationships with their sources of supply (not necessarily with other narcissists).
Sure. How else will she know? I suppose you could pull a Cyrano de Bergerac, but eventually she'll need to know it's you.
It is that important that you blurt out you really like her. Just muster up all you have and go ask her out on a date. Take it slow and remember, everyone that goes out on that first date (even those so-called confident people) get butterflies in their stomaches and are nervous. Don't try to hard, just be attentive, have fun and don't worry about it.
Well, it all depends on the climate of your marriage. Obviously it isn't good, given the fact that you are having an affair and have fallen in love with your mistress. Perhaps seeing a therapist initially on your own to discern the correct approach to hurting your wife, not only because you want to leave her, but because you are in love with another woman.
Most women know when something is up, even if they choose not to see it. Your wife will be deeply injured, but I'm guessing she already has an idea that something is awry.
At any rate, you need to concern yourself with her feelings in your approach, and not just absolving yourself of the guilt by confessing.
Be yourself. You can't force anything to happen but you can hope she will see what she would be missing... Show her how you care about her... (with out kissing and hugging) show and be yourself and what is meant will happen
Talk to her. Be yourself. Go up to her and say "hello". Don't just stare at her on the side, stand up and approach her. Even if she seems to ignore and not notice you, she eventually will if you are nice to her and friendly. Just be casual about it. Be her friend, if not a running errand. Make her day lighter if it's too dark, make her happy if she's sad, be her shoulder to cry on. Be there "ALWAYS". She'll like you sooner or later. Never ever stalk her. It gets awkward and uncomfortable for most girls. By being "ALWAYS" there doesn't also mean that you have to hang out all the time with her. Some girls have this insecurity, they tend to hate the attentions from people and specially the gossips that you are a couple and yet "really" not. If possible just be visible but not to the extreme. Help her always, if she looks troubled ask her what's wrong. If she's working on something like classwork or homework, and she seems having a hard time about it; then help her (don't ask her if she needs help, voluntarilly help her). These steps are 100% guaranteed. It is what made me fall over heels in love with my best friend, even if I haven't seen him for 2 1/2 years now...the love is still there though.